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Why I'm not publishing the slides to my dark side of game development talk

I've had a couple of requests for the slides of my talk on the dark side of game development which I gave last year at ENJMIN, and last week at the Northern Game Summit in Kajaani.

After some thought, I've decided not to publish them. The actual slides are very spare, often showing just a single image or a few words, so they're not very helpful. I don't have detailed presenter notes (as I found to my dismay when I started rehearsing it again about two weeks ago).

One of the images is a portrait of a personal friend, and I feel weird enough using his photo as it is. Some of those words are "stress" and "depression" and "sexism" and "homophobia".

Because I talked about sexism and mentioned some of the female friends who helped me with that section, I want to reduce the contact surface in case Internet idiots come across the slides.

This is a very personal talk, and I feel that only the actual performance - all the words I said, the way I said them, and the questions I answered afterwards - comes close to saying what I meant to say. This talk only works when I fully believe everything I say, it's not a dry technical talk at all. Writing slides with full presenter notes that say the same thing would be very hard, perhaps impossible.

And both times the talk wasn't recorded. Sorry!

If you want to get an impression of what I talked about, the resource post may be helpful.