Bad stress, part two

In May and June of this year I stopped posting regularly to this weblog, apart from the occasional indicator that I was still alive. Finally, in June, I wrote a post about bad stress that explained what had been going on.

Somewhere around mid-August, my posting frequency dropped again, and it hasn’t picked up much since. (My foolish attempt to distract my dear readers with a second blog has only resulted in doubling the questions about why I haven’t been updating.)

So now it’s time to revisit that bad stress post.

I wrote:

At the start of this year, I was made producer on a new project at Rockstar Vienna. Rockstar’s confidentiality policy being what it is, I won’t be able to tell you anything about it until the well-orchestrated PR campaign has started.

Being a producer on a Rockstar title is a daunting thought, what with the huge sales numbers, the critical acclaim, and the intense attention to whatever the company does. This project also has a larger team and budget than what I’ve worked with before. But oddly enough all of this is not really a source of stress for me. Optimism is the hallmark of a producer – you have to be optimistic to believe that something great can be produced from nothing.

Much of this is still true today. However, managing a project of this size and duration did eventually become a major source of stress for me, and after several months I came to the conclusion that in the medium to long term it would be bad for the project and for myself if I were to continue as producer. So I decided to step back.

As you can imagine, this was not an easy decision. Thankfully, I work for a very solution-oriented company, so the whole process of dealing with this has been very smooth, and the new situation is better for the project. But this is a complicated period for me, involving many positive and negative emotions, and a lot of thinking and rethinking.

Comments 3

  1. Walter wrote:

    I’m sure you did the right thing, Jurie, for yourself and for the project. Bravo for knowing when to call it quits, and having the guts to do so.

    Hope you can uncomplicate things soon. Remember: it’s all just “psychic entropy”. ;)

    Posted 22 Nov 2004 at 8:44
  2. Noah Falstein wrote:

    Jurie,

    When Hal gave up a successful film career to come to make games, I asked him why. He said, “Tiggers don’t like to climb trees” I don’t know if Winnie the Pooh was a part of a standard Netherlands childhood, but the basic point is that it’s hard to find out what you really like to do, especially when other people may assign a high status to something it turns out you really don’t enjoy. But ulitimately it’s much more satisfying.

    Posted 22 Nov 2004 at 16:40
  3. Jurie Horneman wrote:

    Thanks Noah. Indeed, I now know a lot more about what I like and don’t like, and where my strong points and weak points are.

    Posted 23 Nov 2004 at 0:22