Biting humor

“I figure if we want to break out into the female market and still sell some units to our hard core audience, the game oughta have chicks in it, right?”

“Superior thinking, Dave.”

“I thought so, too. OK, since we have to have chicks in the game, and chicks are always worried about how they look, then our female 3D models have to be really sexy, built like brick outhouses and dressed in the sexiest clothes our artists can draw, so the gals can feel good about their on-screen avatars. Check, Ted?”

“Check, Dave.”

“And girls like being buddies with other girls and talking about make-up, dresses, jewelry, getting married and boys, while guys like big guns, feeling like they have lots of power to make things disintegrate and getting laid, right?

“Right, Dave.”

“OK, so my first top-line concept is: Duke Nukem Meets Cosmopolitan Makeover II. It’s multiplayer over the Internet. The guys run around Saks Fifth Avenue blasting aliens who are trying to take over the cosmetics department, so the babes can’t buy make-up and will feel, like, you know, ugly and all. If a guy sees a girl without make-up, he mistakes her for an alien and shoots her. If she has make-up on, they go to the Lingerie department, she puts on something really lacy and sexy and he gets laid as an energy power-up. Cool, huh?”

“Hmmm….”

“What, Ted?”

“It’s missing something.”

“Like what?”

“Like… I don’t know what, but I just can’t see it, Dave. I mean, would Brittany buy that game?”

“We could always go over there after work and ask her.”

“Superior thinking, Dave.”

“I thought so, too. I’ll stop at the 7-11 and get us a bunch of one dollar bills.”

Read the rest on Biting The Hand.